Unavoidable Laws of the Natural Universe

1- Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.

2- Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3- Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

4- Law of the Alibi: If you tell boss you're late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning or soon thereafter, you will have a flat tire.

5- Traffic Law: If you change lines, the one you were out will start to move faster than the one you are in now will move slower.

6- Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water or in the shower, the telephone rings.

7- Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

8- Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the one who arrive last.

9- Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.

10- Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

11- Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.